Need some suggestions...

I am still at a plateau.  I met with my trainer and I know that's going to help, but I was taking to someone at the gym and she said I should tweak my diet.  Well I already eat super healthy.  I rarely eat processed, frozen foods.  I cook all my meals.  I bring lunch everyday.  Eat tons of fruits and veggies.  Eat breakfast everyday.  Never, ever eat fried or fast food.  I eat very little dessert.  So what in the world do I cut out??  I eat equal amounts of protein.  My carb intake isn't in excess.  So how do I "tweak" my diet?? 

I guess I need to cut out eating out at all.  I also never got Starbucks when I was doing my best.  I brought my own popcorn and treats to the movies.  I would go on a strict no resteraunt week where I never ate one bite unless I cooked it. 

So maybe I need to get back to those habits and see if it helps.  I certainly have this maintenance thing down.  Problem is, I don't want to maintain this weight.  I still have serious goals in my mind.  I want to lose another 80 pounds.  Why not??  I've already lost 187.  What's another 80???  It's A LOT harder than it was in the beginning, so, that's what I'm going to try.  I'm going to go back to the beginning.  To the girl who literally tracked every bite and wrote herself motivational notes.  I really want to get to 200 pounds lost by my two year mark at Weight Watchers.  September 14th.  That's the date.  I think I can do it.  I'm open to suggestions to push me over :)

Got back to my "roots" and did great this week!!

Thank God!!  I needed a 2.6 pound weight loss this week...I was feeling slightly weak and defeated.  I really made sure I followed my "good health" guidelines, which basically consist of having a carb, a protein and a fruit or veggie with every meal.  I literally drink 2 tsps of olive oil with my vitamins everyday and drink a ton of water.  This was my ritual for a year then I lost a few of those habits and hit a wall.  So that's what I started back up and it's been great!  It gives me more energy and it makes me know beyond a shadow of a doubt I'm continuing to be healthy and I will meet my goals and this will be a life long habit.

Not always a walk in the park

I had a gain this week and it's certainly not my first.  I was warned that it was only going to get harder the less weight I needed to take off but it doesn't make it any less frustrating. This week was especially upsetting because I really thought I did well.  I tracked every thing I ate.  I worked out.  I didn't make poor choices.  So when I walked in to weigh in, I was almost giddy thinking I lost.  But when I found out I gained, I was thoroughly pissed.  I usually know when I've gained and why.  Arrrrrrg.

Anyway, I took extra time after my meeting to speak to my leader and we went over my tracker and a few of my habits and routines.  She is always so supportive and helpful and really gave me the perspective I need to get through this week.  She says "it's not about the scale"  blah, blah, blah.  Deep down I know it's about where I've come from and how amazing I feel, but I'm not finished.  I still have goals and I desperately want to reach them.  I will say, these past few months have really made me humble.  I now know how much people struggle with their weight loss and how irritating the darn roller coaster is.

I am changing a few things and we'll see how it goes...hopefully my next blog will be filled with exclamation points and smiley faces.  For now I'll just take it week by week, day by day and try to get back to basics and be the hard core weight watcher I know I can be!  (There's an exclamation point)

Getting back on track....

I haven't blogged since September and lately I've been sort of in a weight loss slump, a crappy "plateau".  I was always so careful about this happening within my first year at Weight Watchers and only gained 2x in 1 year!  But now I lose, gain, lose, gain.  It's been a yoyo and it's driving me CRAZY!!  I've only lost 35 pounds in 8 months so I decided I needed to get back to basics...back to the beginning of all of this to find what made me so successful.  It's starting with my blog's...it was another way to keep me motivated and that's what I need!!  My next goal is to get to 200 pounds lost.  I'm in this again and keeping my focus on getting it done before my 2 year mark!!  I know I can do this!!

Breaking Goals and making new ones...

I can not believe how much I've changed and grown since I first started going to the gym in January.  I remember when I first started, I was absolutely terrified!  I was embarrassed about my size and sweating and looking like an idiot on the treadmill cause I was walking so slow.  I was also afraid of trying new work outs and I would only do the treadmill for a good 3 months before I even looked at anything else.  As I got stronger, I got braver.  I started setting goals for myself.  My initial goal when I first got on that treadmill was to just get to a mile on a steady basis.  I could barely do .8 miles in 45 minutes.  So as my strength increased my new goal became 30 min miles, then 20, then 15.  I finally got to 15 yesterday!!!!  But tonight was more than I ever dreamed...I did 2 miles in less than 30 minutes!!!!!  I was also at a pretty steep incline the entire time.  I'm so proud of myself!  I never stopped once.  I didn't even want to.  Each step made me feel so empowered!  I actually enjoy the sweat now because I know it's working and I am certainly not embarrassed anymore at all!!  I walk in that gym like I'm meant to be there and I absolutely love this new me!!  My new goal is set to jog/run for half a mile without walking.  This is going to be tough but I know I can do anything I set out to do...I will not let myself down!

Happy Anniversary to my new Life!!!!

I can not believe how fast a year goes by.  Over the past, short year my life has changed dramatically!  Exactly 1 year ago today, I walked into Weight Watchers scared to death, reluctant and hopeless.  I was in extremely poor health.  High blood pressure, borderline high cholesterol and probably one donut away from diabetes.  I couldn't even walk up the stairs in my house without becoming winded and needing a break before I carried on with whatever I needed to get done.  I was very lazy.  A regular couch potato.  I never, ever exercised.  I had horrific eating habits and could easily eat fast food for every meal.  I was also afraid of everything.  I would make up an excuse to skip school functions for my kids because I just couldn't stand having people stare at me.  I would get to a destination early just so I could circle around looking for the closest spot to park in.  I had become accustomed to my limited movement and maximum appetite.  I would watch weight loss t.v. shows (while sitting on my butt with a junk food) wishing that could be me, but never dreaming it could be.  I had even contimplated surgery.  That was before I walked through those doors of my first meeting at Weight Watchers.       

What a difference a year makes.  12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days.  That's all it took for me to completely change my life and become a new person.  I never thought in a million years that I would be blogging 1 year later with a 156 pounds lost and a near perfect bill of health.  No more blood pressure and labs are great!  I have gained so much more during these past few months than I ever thought possible.  I have gained confidence, power, strength but most importantly I am more healthy today than I have been in 20 years.  The outlook I have on life is so bright.  This life is better than the woman I was could have imagined or dreamed, watching other people living their lives and wishing it could be me.  It is me.  I am still amazed at how I can easily walk anywhere without pain and shortness of breath.  I have so much energy, I can hardly sit still.  I am always up and moving.  My body craves it.  My willpower is so strong.  I can easily pass on junk food and I use food for fuel rather than pleasure and never over eat.  I no longer get stares or whispers.  People treat me like everyone else, no longer feeling sorry for me. 

I have so many people to thank for helping me get through this past year.  My friends and family have been a catalyst to my success.  All of their encouragement and love pushed me through the more difficult days and gave me the boost I needed every week to continue success.  I will continue to take you all with me as I keep this journey going and look forward to my new, long life with you in my corner.  I am blessed and lucky and I love you all from the bottom of my heart.    

Cheers to life! 

It's been an interesting month...

I just realized I haven't blogged in a month!  I'm still losing weight and working out, but it's been a busy month...vacations and work...work and vacations.  I guess that's what I work for.  In the last month I have only lost about 6 pounds, which is nothing really special to report.  I am however, extremely happy about the progress I've been making on my work outs!  My trainer (I love saying that) has increased my workouts from a 10% to a 100%!  He has me running sprints on the treadmill, then I go to 4 ab exercises, the 4 core balance sets and then to the weight room for 8 different sets of weights with 2 sets each.  This is extreme sports to me.  I can't even believe my body is allowing me to do this.  When I started this weight loss journey in September of last year, I couldn't even go around my block without gasping for air and stopping at least twice and it still amazes me when I finish my hour and a half work out consisting of all those strenuous activities.  So I've been told I'm gaining muscle, but I just don't know.  I think it has to do with the fact that lately I have been saying oh one bite won't hurt and it's really not like me to do that.  So I will get back to basics and start over with my strict regimen and hopefully I can get over the plateau slump I'm in.  One thing is for sure, I could not do any of it without going to my meetings every week and definitely not do it without the support of my friends and family...love you all!     

Goal is set...now it's crunch time!

OK, I came out of the gate pretty strong with my weight loss...but now I feel like I am at a strange plateau.  I'm not gaining weight at all, but I am not losing a lot either.  I make really good choices with the food I eat, I'm at the gym a minimum of 3 days per week and I have never missed a meeting at Weight Watchers and yet, I'm still only losing a small amount each week.  I still have not gained any weight, but I'm always so fearful of that especially when I go to my meeting and only lose .4 pounds.  This could have easily swung the other way.  I'm in a phase right now where I am experimenting with different ways to boost my work-outs, metabolism, etc.  Anyway, I fully expect to continue on this journey with these ups and downs.  My next goal is 150 pounds lost by September 13th.  That's exactly 1 year from the day I started Weight Watchers.  I figured it out and I need to lose a minimum of 1.8 per week in order to meet this goal.  I think I can obtain this and in the past when I've had a very specific goal in mind, I have made it work!  Once again, I am so lucky to have the supportive family and friends to help me along and support these highs and lows.  Lots of love to you all!!

Beachin' summer day...

I had an amazing day yesterday at the beach with just about everyone I truly love here.  Missing my family of coarse and handful of other people... but overall everyone came out to Newport for a birthday party..yeah, I want to have my birthday at the beach too ;)  It was glorious and beautiful.  I love the ocean so much.  So peaceful and serene.  I was so relaxed.  The best thing about it was comparing it to my experience in the past.  Last summer I had the hardest time walking in the sand from the car to the water.  I had to stop to catch my breath, I was winded and I dreaded having to walk back to use the bathroom because I knew I'd have to tackle the awful walk back through the sand.  I was so debilitated.  I just lived with it for so long and accepted that I was no an active person.  I was wrong.  I did have an active person inside just hiding behind my weight.  This experience was way different.  I walked several times through the sand.  I ran through the sand.  I RAN through the sand....WTH???!!!  YES!!  That feeling was amazing.  This was nothing like I've experienced in a really, really long time.  I even surprised myself.  My body continues to amaze me as I find new things it can do that it could not before.  I am so proud of myself for this accomplishment.  I remember dreading summer in the past.  The heat, the outdoor activity, the bathing suit...gooo.  But now, I am so happy it's summer.  These are the months I will now look forward to from now on.  Yay summer!

Came through a plateau with flying colors...

I haven't blogged since I got back from vacation mostly because I was in a rotten plateau, something I've been dreading since say one of starting Weight Watchers.  Everyone warned me about it, but I stayed a step ahead of it at every turn.  So when I went to Disneyland, I thought all the walking would help me out in keeping the dreaded plateau at bay.  However, my body thought differently and it happened.  In fact, I only lost 1 pound over a 3 week period of time.  I was devestated each time I stood on that scale and only lost .2 or .4.  UGH!  So frusterating!  I was not going over my points at all.  So, a couple of weeks ago I got really sick and thought for sure I would gain weight, but I didn't.  I drank a ton of water, ate really fresh food and I ended up losing 11 pounds.  Thank goodness!!!  I finally went back to the gym after 19 days of being on vacation or sick and it felt amazing!  I really feel my body craves the gym.  I went 3 days in a row and then weighed in last Thursday for another 5.4 pounds!  I even had a stay-cation with my hubby and we had room service and cocktails and still came out with a "W" for the week.  I know it wasn't much of a plateau, but for me and the dedication I have to this journey, it was rough for me.  But now I know I don't have to be afraid of it because it will happen again and I will get though it. 

One thing the dreaded plateau can not take away from me is how great I feel.  I have so much more confidence in myself.  I feel so comfortable in my own skin.  I even bought a new bathing suit and didn't have to wear a cover up or stay wrapped in a towel by the pool.  Thats a first for me in years and years.  I couldn't be more happy and I'm looking forward to getting even more fit!  What a great summer this will be :)

Disneyland was the greatest!!!!

I had so many fears about this trip.  I knew I'd lost more than the amount of weight I set out to, but I was still nervous about not being able to fit on the rides.  I haven't been able to since I took Joe when he was 4 years old.  That's 12 years of waiting to go on Space Mountain and other fun rides.  It's one of the reasons I lost weight.  I started thinking about all the things I love that I was missing out on.  Parts of me that were no longer me because of my size.  So naturally I was fearful that I still would not fit.  I literally chewed my fingernails off the days leading up to our trip.  Not to mention my fear of being in pain like I was when we went in 2009 for Christmas.  We went for one day and I had to stop every few minutes to rest and when we were done with the day, I was almost completely debilitated.  I could barely move and every step felt like I would collapse.
This time was a complete turn around from that woman I was in 2009.  We went on our very first ride, Space Mountain, my favorite roller coaster, and I fit great!  No problem at all!!!!  I was so overwhelmed with joy and happiness that I was actually on the ride again after so many years, I cried and laughed the entire ride.  We proceeded to ride it a total of 11 times over the coarse of the 3 day trip.  Every new ride I got on, I was a bit nervous at first but I fit fine in every one we rode.  The best part about the rides were that my kids and husband were so happy I was with them.  We got to experience that joy and thrill together as a family, the way it should be.  I truly felt normal.  Like the mom I should be.  One that can have fun with her family and be a part of every memory they have. 

I never got winded or tired either.  I mean sure, I was worn out by the end of the day because I stayed opening to close all 3 days, but I never had to stop and take a breath.  We must have walked 40 miles over the coarse of 3 days.  Up hill many times, one park to another, back and forth to the hotel, etc.  Never had to stop, not even one time.  In fact, many times I was leading the pack.  It certainly helps that I walk 3 miles 4 days a week uphill on the treadmill ;)  My feet hurt by the end of the day (so did everyones) but I was full of energy by morning and ready to go every time! 

I was extremely sad to leave, but the memories we made on this trip will be something that we will have forever.  I wasn't afraid to be in pictures with my family.  I felt so proud to be there with them, in every line, on every ride, in every photo.  I'm so happy that I am a coaster rider again and I am so excited for our next trip!  We're planning it for some time in October and I'm hoping to have lost another 60 pounds by then.  That will make it even better, if that's even possible ;)        

100 Changes in 100 Pounds

I have been thinking a lot about how much has changed since I started my weight loss journey and while some of these things are extremely personal, I think they are important to share so if anyone sees anything on this list, they are struggling with, they can make a change.  I have never been happier and although some of the changes are big and some are small, they are ALL significant and important in every way!  I am looking forward to more changes and improving the changes already taking place!!

1. I can put both arms down at the movie theater
2. I can use all bathroom stalls without trouble
3. I can fit into a booth at restaurants
4. My chair at work stays up
5. I can walk my kids all the way to school
6. My back doesn’t ache when I’m walking at all
7. I don’t look for close parking spots
8. I can pull my pants up quickly
9. I can pull them off more quickly too
10. I have been able to buy smaller undies
11. I lost a whole cup size in my bra and 4 bust sizes
12. I no longer have to wear sports bra’s that goes over my head
13. I don’t sweat unless I’m working out, not just sitting in a chair
14. My ankles aren’t swollen
15. I no longer have to take blood pressure medication
16. I don’t have a hard time breathing
17. I don’t have a hard time sleeping
18. I can hold my daughter on my lap again
19. I don’t get winded walking up my stairs
20. I don’t get winded walking through parking lots
21. I get out of the car and walk into Starbucks instead of always driving up
22. I order skinny everything and fried nothing
23. I don’t have to wiggle into my seat belt or even move to get it on
24. My belly doesn’t come up to the steering wheel anymore
25. My feet don’t hurt anymore
26. My back doesn’t hurt anymore
27. I don’t get stared at while at the kids school…not even the high school
28. I am officially 2 sizes smaller in shirts and pants
29. Sometimes 3 sizes smaller ;)
30. My shoulders keep my bra straps up
31. I can feel and SEE my collar bone again
32. My legs are stronger
33. My fingers are smaller
34. My wedding ring is 2 sizes too big
35. I’m quicker when I walk
36. I say yes to my kids when they want me to play with them outside
37. I’m no longer lazy
38. I cook more often for myself and my family
39. I bring lunch to work every day
40. I can say no to fattening treats at work without wishing I could say yes
41. I eat healthy alternatives to the things I love
42. I no longer hide food
43. I don’t eat fast food
44. My undies and pants don’t leave painful marks on my belly
45. I can see my feet again
46. I touch my toes again
47. I’m not afraid to try new things
48. I’m not afraid to meet new people
49. I feel strength in my arms
50.  I have a jaw line
51. I’m losing my double chin
52. I completely lost the triple one : )
53. My glasses don’t fit
54. I love the taste of water
55. I joined a gym
56. I’m not afraid to talk to people about my weight
57. I like taking pictures more often
58. I can get off the couch easily
59. I can get in and out of the car easily
60. I can cross my legs “Indian style”
61. I can put my leg up on my other leg while tying my shoe
62. I can bend down to tie my shoes
63. I have no problem putting on my socks
64. I can bend my knees and put my feet up on the coffee
65. I don’t snore anymore (says my husband)
66. I track every bite of food I eat (whether I like the amount of points or not ;)
67. I am a positive person in my kids’ lives
68. My hubby has been getting healthy too watching me get healthy
69. I have inspired a dozen people to start Weight Watchers including my mom
70. My kids are making healthier choices
71. I inspire people to get fit through my blogs and posts
72. I have a belly button!
73. I have no more difficulty in the shower washing certain body parts
74. I have a personal trainer at the gym
75. I was approached by the owner of the gym to do a spotlight to motivate people
76. I care about my appearance more
77. I don’t have heart palpitations at night anymore
78. I can get up off the floor easily without having to hold onto something
79. I sleep really well at night
80. My feet are shrinking to a narrower and smaller size
81. I can paint my own toenails easily
82. I push myself to work harder instead of making excuses to stop
83. I have found a new love for fruit and veggies
84. I can feel my muscles moving when I walk
85. I’m not afraid of the word “fat” anymore
86. I can run around after my kids
87. I can feel the bones in my knees
88. I can shop at almost every department store
89. I can cross my arms across my chest
90. I don’t have a lot of time for TV. because I’m too active
91. My hubby can put his arms around me
92. I can fit my towel all the way around
93. I can see the bones in my feet
94. My wrists are smaller
95. I can feel the bones in my elbows
96. I am starting to see muscle definition in my upper arms
97. I can easily grab things off the floor
98. I no longer say the word can’t, only I can and I will
99. I have loads and loads of energy
100. I see a healthy future with my husband and my kids

I did it!!! I passed my goal of 100 pounds by Disneyland!!

Tonight was a really great night at Weight Watchers.  I only needed 1.4 pounds to get to 100 and I am never sure what I weigh.  But I hoped for the best and brought my family with me to be with me in the event I got to that big number.  When I got on the scale I was so nervous!  When she told me I had lost 8 pounds, I was so excited!!!  I finally got to that monumental number and I am so proud of myself!  I really feel like I accomplished something special.  My leader was so excited for me!!  We had a little celebration and I received a gold charm and a certificate.  I cried of coarse because I really am so thankfull to everyone and I wanted them to know how much their stories encourage and inspire me.  It was so nice having my family there to be a part of it and they were so proud and just beeming. 

My initial goal was to lose 100 pounds in a year.  It's been 6 months and 20 days and I've lost 106.6 pounds!  What an amazing feeling I have.  I have worked really hard and have been 100% dedicated to changing my life style and it's worked!  I've never had this amount of willpower in my life.  It's all made possible by my husband who allows me to leave 4 nights a week to go to the gym and my meeting and happily takes care of the kids while I do that.  My kids who are always so proud of me and wait by the door to see what my weight loss is for that week.  My family and my amazing friends who cheer me on every day, I hear your cheers every time I have moments of weakness.  My weight watchers friends and leader who I learn from every week.  Thank you all so much!!! 

I am ready to start round 2 of this journey and know I have the most amazing, loving, encouraging and supportive friends and family anyone could ask for!  I am so grateful and so blessed to know all of you!

Turkey Pepperoni Pizza Bites

I made these tonight for my family (my guinea pigs) and they were a big hit!  I must say I though they were quite delicious and a super healthy way to get that pizza craving squashed!

Ingredients (Makes 3 rolls, but of coarse multiple the recipe as desired)

6 Won Ton Wrappers
6 tsps Marinara Sauce
1/4 cup Skim Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
6 Turkey Pepperonis or 12 mini-turkey pepperoni's
1/2 Tbsp Olive Oil
1 tsp Garlic Powder
1 tsp Oregano
1 tsp Parsley Flakes
 pinch of ground black pepper

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees

Mix olive oil and spices together in a shallow bowl or on a plate.  Set aside.

Place 2 won tons (one directly on top of the other) on a clean, flat surface.  Dab a finger in the o.o. mixture and moisten all four edges of the won ton.  In the center of the won ton, place 2 tsps of marinara, a 3rd of the 1/4 cup cheese and 2 or 4 pepperoni's.  Fold won ton from one corner to another forming a triangle.  Pinch each side and brush both side with a bit of the o.o. mixture.  Repeat steps and ingredients for every 3 won tons.  Place on a cookie sheet and bake for 10 minutes.
Serve with additional marinara if desired (a little dipping is free points ;)

Each won ton is 2 points (80 calories).  You can make them even healthier by using only 1 won ton skin.  It makes it a bit thinner, but just as yummy!  It would cut the bite to 1 point (40 calories).  I would suggest baking for 8 minutes so they don't burn.
  

Rough week...but came out on top!

I kind of had a mini-melt down on Wednesday night this week because I was completely off my normal routine.  I felt like I got a gutter ball right after a strike compared to the previous week.  We had friends and family in town, and went out to eat several times and I had several cocktails.  I never, ever do this in my average week.  I am so hard core, that I almost never drink anymore.  I truly have been treating my body like a temple lately.  I also didn't have time to go to the gym and skipped it Monday and Tuesday night.  So, when Wednesday night rolled around I got a text from my friend Heather (she has been a spotlight before in previous blogs) she said, "Do not beat yourself up about the week you've had, sometimes life gets in the way"  I was literally bawling for an hour straight.  She opened up the flood gates of the stress I'd been feeling about having a bad week and the fear of gaining weight.  I was nervous all day Thursday, even contemplated skipping my meeting.  But, I realized it's part of the journey.  I can't always be perfect.  I have to live my life.  Having friends and family come visit, is normal and something I'll have to deal with.  So I went, shaking and anxiety ridden, to my meeting and actually lost 1.4 pounds!!  The feeling I felt was pride and amazment!!!  I realized while it wasn't a strike like my 6 pound loss the week before, it was certainly NOT a gutter ball.  I did make healthy choices when we ate out and I completely tracked and stuck to my points.  So, I guess I can live my life and participate in family time and not be so hard on myself.  I can assure you I will never cry over it again!

My hard work and determination really paid off this week!!

I'm not going to lie, last week I was a bit disappointed with my weight loss. 1.6 is not going to cut it if I want to lose 100 pounds by Disneyland on April 20th. So I decided this week was going to be boot camp for me. I set my goals on Friday to do the following: eat more veggies and a bit less fruit (I ate my fruit in the morning and veggies at night), I cut out restaurant's 100%, worked out following my trainers regimen, drank lots of water and thought positive thoughts all week! It felt like it was going really well! I was always satisfied and didn't have any sore muscles from my work outs. The results...an astonishing 6 pounds!!! I was completely thrilled!!!! I feel like I earned every pound of that weight loss! I can't wait to tell my trainer! Thanks to all my supportive friends and family, as always, you keep me strong!

I feel alive!

Ok, so I finally mustered up the courage to tell my story to a personal trainer at the gym last week and we had our first official session on Tuesday night. I have been so excited about this all week (even though I was also terrified) to learn about healthy ways to tone my muscles. Well, let me just say I am still sore and it's Thursday. I did go on the treadmill last night but I had no idea how much weight training would kick my butt!! It's a good feeling though. I feel pride with every wince and painful reach. The fact of the matter is I would have NEVER seen a trainer 85 pounds ago. I hated sweating in front of people before and I especially hated feeling vulnerable by working out in front of other people. He had me doing bridges on a mat on the ground in the weight room and I did it with a smile on my face (ok a half smile). But it makes me feel so good knowing that I am showing commitment to this journey. I lost 1.6 this week. For me that is not typical and it made me upset at first. I honestly expected more. I ate healthy, went to the gym 4 days and made good choices. I'm not sure if it's because I'm gaining muscle or because I'm sore and my muscles are inflamed or if I just had an off week. But the point is, I feel good. I have never felt so alive and energetic! My sweet friend Heather said to me after my weigh in tonight, "screw the scale, just look in the mirror". Thanks Heath ;) So I will keep going and whip my sore muscles into shape and be proud that I have surpassed my own expectations so far and be proud of my accomplishments!!!

Spotlight...

This spotlight is really more of a flood light. It's on the amazing friends and family in California. If you want or need a confidence boost to feel like a million bucks seriously come here for a visit. Everyone made me feel so special. Nadina, who was the catalyst in this journey for me was so happy to see me and proud of me and always listens to my blabbing about weight loss. She is such a precious, vital part of this journey for me because she is who I thank everyday for my push into it. Nadi's dad, Marty, was complimenting me so much and kept telling Andrew he had a skinny wife. I'm not skinny yet, but I will be ;). Laila was amazing and noticed that I looked more narrow. She also commented on how I move quicker and with more ease. Matt was so great and said how good I've been and complimented me. Nadi's mom came over and said how proud she was and really loves reading my blog. Thanks Doris ;) I enjoy writing it. Matt's mom Sue was also so so sweet to me! She always tells me I'll be on a commercial someday. That would be super cool! My sisters reaction was the most special to me. She hugged me in the parking lot and I brought tears to her eyes at how different I look. She's is one of my biggest fans snd I am definetly hers! Overall this trip has been so wonderfull for my confidence. A lot of the people I talked to said how I've inspired them to eat healthy or work out. I never would have thought in a million years that I could make other people feel inspired. But the truth is they are all playing an important role in my journey, through their inspiration, love, encouragement, support and friendship. I really, really love you all. Thank you for helping save my life.

Spotlight...

So this spotlight is really on a couple of people. I touched on them in my initial blog but I really love the people in my meetings. My leader, Maria, is so sweet to me. She has always been so amazing and supportive, encouraging and kind. She makes me LOVE my Thursday night meetings. Also, Beth who is an assistant. She always gives me praise and a big, sweet smile. I know it is in their job description to be this way to an extent, but I have been to other meetings and no one does it better. It's just who they are. My mom's boss joined Weight Watchers and she goes to a different center. She had heard about a girl from another center who had lost nearly 80 pounds. So she asked my mom what my name was and when she said my name, she said they were talking about how well I was doing and they use my story as a motivational method. That makes me feel so special. It tells me they are genuinely proud of my accomplishments. This just makes me want to continue making them proud.

If I can be an example to people on will power, commitment, courage and determination, that is the best gift you can give to someone. Cause this works. I am living proof that your goals are reachable if you want them bad enough! I just hope one day, when I get to my goal weight I can inspire people on a bigger level. But for now, I am proud and inspired to be doing it in my little corner of the world.

I am getting more and more comfortable in my own skin...and I love it!

I'm really starting to feel more comfortable being me. I used to be so worried about people staring at me everywhere I went. People used to look at me when I would buy certain things at the grocery store. I knew what they were thinking, "Should she really be buying that" My kids school was the worst place for me. Kids would stare at me like I was some kind of circus show. But now people just smile. Kids treat me like any other mom at school picking up their kids. Maybe it's just my confidence but I don't see very many people staring at me anymore. Of coarse it's something I notice and look for. It would make me feel so awful before. Now it doesn't even matter because I know I will get to a point where it doesn't ever happen. It's not only that. It's so many other things. It's bending over to tie my shoes or picking something up off the floor, getting dressed, even showering. All those things used to be difficult for me. Today, I was driving out of the grocery store parking lot and I saw 3 runaway carts getting ready to hit someones car. I threw my car in park and ran to the carts to stop them and put them away. When I got in the car, I thought to myself, "Did I just run to those carts?" Yes, the old me would have been way too lazy, not to mention embarrassed, to stop them. I know that seems silly, but it's one of those aha moments that are significant in my journey. I am just looking forward to life!!!